August 2018

Funny - drafted this post a really long time ago but never got round to posting it. :o I guess it never saw the light of day because: 1. I was dissatisfied w my points but the inertia to edit and write it was so r e a l especially b’cos reading and writing all day err day @ work meant NO writing after work hours no thnx, so I let it sit as a jumbled outline in my drafts folder along with 1209310293 other half-constructed posts hehe (not proud of that); 2. I was fearful of being judged by others (pride issues). Anyway, in light of recent conversations w some friends, I realised that I should continue to write—it is my hope that it is not for self-glory, but for the sake of others and ultimately, that it should be for the glory and furthering of God’s kingdom.

This topic has been on my mind for the looooongest time—and even though at this point I may not seem like the most relatable person to be hearing from about singleness as a Christian, I wrote this post when I was still as single as a pringle and had no interest in bearded llamas. In fact, I am still single la because as the Bible states, there exists only 2 relationship statuses—“the unmarried man/woman” and “the married man/woman”(ref: 1 Cor 7), i.e., there is no such dating status, and therefore I am most definitely single slash not yet married (& perhaps never will be—who knows right, only God does. (: )

Anyway, I seriously am no guru on Christian singleness (legit I am not, I know other guys/girls/women who will be better people to talk to about this, or even good Christian books that expound on 1 Cor 7 way better than I do, for e.g. “Married for God” explains 1 Cor 7 really well imo!!! Oh, but the best would be for us to open our Bibles and to hear from God Himself about what it means to live as a Christian single in this world hehe :>). I am hence writing this because I hope to share a glimpse of my puny life experience and how God has graciously transformed and shaped me through His Word by His Spirit when I was learning (and am still learning) to live as a single in this sex-crazed world (lmao amirite).

When I drafted this post about a year ago, it was when some of my friends were aggressively matchmaking me with GCBs (Good Christian Boys lolol) maybe because I had been single for a really long time (by the world’s standards). Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to my friends, especially to Jo for all her efforts !!! best pal ever !!!!!! (: Albeit amusing and definitely not wrong of them to have done so, it was difficult for me at times because in those moments, I was tempted to think my life as incomplete unless I had gotten together with someone else.

So I wrote this because I needed to remind myself of certain truths I read in 1 Corinthians 7. These were really good reminders for me when I was a Christian single struggling to live in a world where relationships are pertinent and appeared to define one’s identity. All of a sudden, at the marriageable age of twenty-something the whole world is telling you that you have to find someone if not you will die alone (logical fallacy !!!). Well, regardless, they are now still good reminders to always strive to cling on to Christ and to be content in the status that He has called me to.
On an important note, it also does not mean that if we are single, we should never pursue anyone and never have feelings for anyone ever ever ever. I don’t think Paul means that because he mentions that marriage is not a bad thing (referring to the section I highlighted: “But if you do marry, you have not sinned”)—so we must be careful not to think of ourselves as awesome abstinence practicing holy wtv people if we are unmarried, and think of married people as weaklings.

It is okay to like/love someone la. In fact, Paul says that we should marry if our passions are going to cause us to sin (i.e., have sexual relationships outside of marriage)—“for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”. Feelings can be a good thing—if they are not mishandled. One should be careful to not let their feelings for someone else swell into discontentment and dissatisfaction with their current status (i.e., singleness) until it becomes a distraction from doing the most important thing, which is to live for Christ. Whichever status you have been called to, be content with that gift and use wtv resources you have to serve Christ (-:

Therefore, it should be highlighted that the person who is unmarried is not necessarily serving God on a higher pedestal just because he is “free from concern” (v32). Paul is just saying it would definitely be easier (i.e., he uses the word “better”) because the unmarried would be able to remain completely undivided. I can see why. Being together with someone taps on your emotional and time resources, which, if you were single, would be less spent (b'cos u don't have to deal w another sinner on top of your sinful self !!!).

On the other hand, the person who is married “has to be concerned with the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife (or vice versa)” (v33). His/her attention is now divided, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. He/she still obv can please God—but now his time and emotional resources are now split between serving his/her family and church community (? And maybe other things? Not v sure). The married person still serves the Lord by serving his or her family primarily, which is simply just different from how the unmarried would be able to serve the church. From my own observation, it appears to be true (not entirely sure tho)—for e.g., a mum with a newborn who used to read 121 w a younger girl no longer can because she needs to spend her weekdays taking care of her newborn. That being said, it is definitely not any easier than a single serving the church, in fact possibly way harder. It just is a different way of serving the Lord! (-:

Knowing this truth changed my life!!! I remember first reading it in Married for God (in Myanmar btw lmao because I insanely brought it for leisure reading #geysiao) and then going through it in 1 Corinthians 7 under the guidance of an older woman. It was really helpful for me to know that we should strive to be content in the status that God has put us in. My status is a gift—and I am thankful that I have the gift of singleness now, because I should and can use all of my time and efforts into living for Him wholeheartedly. Should I get married (i.e., attain the gift of marriage), I still can use my time and efforts to serve Him wholeheartedly, but in a different way. Most importantly, I am not defined by my relationship status, but rather by Christ, which should affect how I am to live (-: